what is wrong with me and more venting

I don''t know why I cant get back on track.  Today I had perfect breakfast and perfect lunch and then I ate two whole chocolate bars and plantain chips for dinner(my friend sent them to me from Ecuador). Why I am I doing this? I am waiting to gain back all the weight I have lost? I want to stop. Help!  I have done no exercise for about a week. I feel myself drifting to the bad place.. The I'll-just-eat-whatever-I-want-and-think-about-it-later place. I keep rationalizing that I really don't look so bad.  I really want to lose the weight and be healthy. I want to have a healthy relationship with food. I want to have a healthy nutrition so that my body can fight off any sickness and be strong. This is what I want. roght now I weigh 130 lbs. Bad. Bad. Bad. just 5 pounds would bring me to a very happy place. 10 would be glory. In august I have gained two pounds. There is still a week left in august so I have to get my act together and at least end up without a gain. This is so hard for me right no. I am such a Binger its not even funny. 

Miami Vacation

So I know its been more than a week since my last post. I went away to Miami for the whole week. I had a blast. The white sand and crystal clear water. It was really awesome and recharging. I went swimming in the ocean almost every day and was pretty good with my eating for the first couple of days then too much wine got in the way and before I realized it I have gained 2 pounds.  BUt its OK I really needed that week to unwind . I have great news, I start to work on Monday! I am so excited. so I know that now that I'll be out of the house all day I will have less time to eat. Over all I am feeling much better that the last time I posted even though I have gained some weight I really feel like I am creeping along to my goal of a new and improved me. Now that I'm back home full steam ahead to weight loss !

I'm going to check in with my favorite blogs hope you all are doing well and keep going down :)

cheers!!

Binge #2

so I ate many things I cant even mention here. The last 2 days I've been eating. I think it is because I bought 100 calorie packs os twix chocolates. I decided to have one for my snack instead of what I usually have and It didn't take my hunger away. And I ended up eating all the 7 chocolates and after tat I had chips and lots of rice with meat. I have gained 1.6 pounds. I am dusting off the twix crumbles and moving on. Today I had the right breakfast and am plannin the right lunch with lots of veggies. I pray to God there will no more funny business. I wonder why I have been so unmotivated the last 2 days. Wait, call from my ex. Have been very bored at home too. Wish I could be back in Miami. I pray that someone will call me today about that job I went to try out last week. all in all gloomy feelings out here in the sunny state. 

Fidgeting = Weight loss

Even though I really do not like Oprah much due to her agenda of pushing her new age stuff on people I was reading thought her site on weight loss and I found something quiet interesting. People who are natural fidgeters burn at least 1000 more calories a day than those of us who are passive. I guess it makes perfect sense but wow.  And my mom was always telling me to sit still. I blame her. I have decided I'm going to strive to move and fidget all day even if it just moving my toes :) I'n not sure who much I will be able to keep this up since natural fidgeters do it unconsciously but is worth a try. I will fidget as much as possible. I will keep you all posted on the results lol.

cbs

Cheers

Twilight oreo zone

128? even with the oreos and Ice cream? something very weird is going on. I like it!! lol :)

SO I had oreos and vanilla Ice cream. Weekends are just bad for me,

BOREEEEEEEEED

I am bored out of my mind! I think I might go crazy. I really need to find some friends out here. I want to go back to Miami............. aghhhh suburbia hell is killing me~ Now I know why I have been eating so much the last 8 months or so to kill my boredom.  Must find interesting things to do. 

Must find cute guys to date.......... Must find al least someone to go to the movies with. Life in the country is soooooo slowwwww!