So finally I came to the conclusion that I am fat. I am 26 years olds. I've had many great looking boyfriends and actually have one righ now. He is beautifull fit, 6 foot tall size 32 jeans and boulging with muscles. Yes, he is one of those people blessed by genetics. The reason why I bring him up however is to portray to you why I had never realized I was fat before. I have always had a very pretty face and an outgoing personality and I guess, yes I can say it an ego that is much bigger that my 5 foot frame. Looking at magazines of other beautiful women never made me feel less than them because I am a photographer and graphic designer, and believe me I can make anyone look like Britney Spears post mental breakdown. ( I could probably get her too look that way now with enough photoshop ;) ) So having had the attention of beautiful men all my life along with the knowledge that actresses are pure photoshop enhancement, and lately avoding mirrors has lead me to believe that I am thin, at least normal/average weight.Anyways, watching the Miss Universe has finally made me come to the conclusion that I am indeed overweight. Notice what is the only thing all the most beautifull women in the universe have in common? Their very thin bodies. They have big noses, small noses, blonde hair, brown hair, big eyes, long faces, short necks, whatever. The only thing that ties all beauty queens together is their weight.Having always thought of myself as a beautiful women this has started bothering me very much. And yes don't get me wrong I know all about the empowering of plus sized women and all that crap, I get it whatever. But if all that where true why is it that Miss Universe 2008 Dayana Mendoza reminds me of skeletor and everyone thinks she is gorgeous?Have I had a warped view of beauty all this time or does the world?anyways in view of this I have decided to loose 36 pounds, I want to weight 100 lbs.Or less. I have dieted many times in my life but I have never been a skinny girl. NOw I want to be a skinny girl. That is what I want and hopefully will achieve it and be able to push myself, that is the reason why I decided to document my struggle with this blog!
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